The Office Birthday Disaster
It was the day of the office birthday celebration. Jason had been looking forward to it all week. Not because he liked birthday parties—he really didn’t—but because it was a good excuse to leave his desk for an hour, eat free cake, and pretend to care about things like “team bonding.”
This particular birthday was for Dave, the office manager, who was turning 40. Dave was the kind of guy who always wore the same gray suit, constantly referred to himself as “the boss” (even though no one had any idea what he actually did), and was incredibly fond of telling terrible jokes.
"Okay, guys," Sarah from HR said as she set up the birthday decorations. "It’s time to make Dave’s birthday the best one yet!"
Jason groaned inwardly. He had heard this line every year. The office birthday party was always the same: balloons, cake, awkward small talk, and Dave making his terrible, age-related jokes. Jason was just hoping this year would be quick.
But of course, it wasn’t.
First, there was the cake.
Clara from accounting had been assigned the task of bringing the birthday cake, which should have been foolproof. But when she pulled it out of the box, everyone’s eyes widened. The cake was… well, it was a mess.
"Clara," Sarah said cautiously, “what happened to the cake?”
Clara just shrugged. "It’s fine, really. I think the heat in the car made it… settle.”
Jason took a closer look. It looked like a cake had been dropped, mashed, and then half-heartedly decorated. The frosting was sliding off to one side, and the word "Happy Birthday Dave" had been written in what looked like an attempt at cursive, but it ended up looking like a toddler’s scribbles.
Dave, ever the optimist, tried to make the best of it. "It’s perfect! A true representation of my life at 40!" He chuckled, but no one joined in.
As Jason tried to pull himself together and ignore the disaster that was the cake, the real fun began.
"Alright, everyone!" Sarah announced, her voice filled with excitement. "Let’s play the traditional birthday game!"
The traditional birthday game was, of course, the “Guess the Age” game, where everyone had to guess Dave’s age, and if you guessed wrong, you had to do something embarrassing. Jason had always avoided this game, but this time, Sarah was looking directly at him.
"Jason, you’re up!" she said, grinning like she’d just found a juicy target.
Jason tried to stall. "Uh, I’m just gonna… you know… get a drink."
"Nope! You’re playing," Sarah said, pointing at him. "Come on, guess Dave’s age!"
Jason took a deep breath. He didn’t know Dave’s age, but he was sure it was somewhere in the 40s. He didn’t want to risk doing something embarrassing, so he went with, "41."
Everyone gasped.
"No! I’m 40 today!" Dave said, feigning shock. "Looks like you’ll have to do something embarrassing, Jason!"
Jason’s stomach sank. This was going to be bad.
"Okay, Jason," Sarah said, still grinning. "Your challenge is… you have to wear this!" She held up a pair of pink, sparkly fairy wings.
Jason stared at the wings. There was no way he was putting those on.
But before he could protest, Clara, who had been eating cake with too much enthusiasm, suddenly stood up and said, "And I’ll take a photo!"
The entire office turned to look at him, and Jason realized there was no escape. He slowly took the wings, which were covered in what looked like glitter and feathers, and reluctantly slipped them on.
"You look amazing, Jason!" Sarah said, snapping a picture before he could protest.
Jason stood there, his face turning red as everyone in the office laughed and took photos. He tried to stand as still as possible, not even moving an inch, hoping the embarrassment would somehow evaporate into thin air.
But the worst was yet to come.
After a few more rounds of people guessing Dave’s age and getting some even worse tasks (like performing a "birthday song" in front of the group), it was time for the highlight of every office birthday party: the "surprise speech" from the birthday person.
Dave got up, clinking his glass, and everyone gathered around, waiting for his words of wisdom.
"I just want to say," Dave started, looking around dramatically, "that I’m so glad to have all of you in my life. You’re my team, my work family. But most importantly, you’ve made me realize something."
The office fell silent, expecting some deep, emotional statement.
Dave paused, looking around at everyone with a serious expression. "I’m really, really proud of this cake." He gestured to the cake, which was now practically disintegrating.
Jason couldn’t help it. He burst into laughter. The whole room followed suit, even though it was more out of sheer relief than anything else.
"Thanks, everyone," Dave continued, clearly pleased with himself. "You’ve made this the best 40th birthday I could ever have. And don’t worry, the cake will be better next year."
Jason could only shake his head in disbelief. He’d survived the birthday disaster, barely, but somehow, he felt a sense of accomplishment. The fairy wings were now a badge of honor, a reminder that no matter how absurd the situation, he could handle it.
And as the party wrapped up, Jason swore that the next time there was an office birthday, he would "accidentally" be on vacation.
After all, there were
only so many fairy wings a person could wear before their dignity ran out.
Comments
Post a Comment